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What is Self Talk?

Self-talk is what I say to myself about my abilities. It can be very very supportive and very negative also.

You may not be knowing that you are talking to self but surely you are doing.

It has a big influence on your activities and how do you feel about yourself and others.


Is Self Talk good for a person?


Self-talk is good when you talk positively with self. Positive self-talk can change your life. It will give success in your career also.

Self-talk is a powerful tool to increase your self-confidence, happiness.  The positive self-talk will curb negative emotions.

Same way, when we criticise self, then it has a very bad impact on our life. Negative self-talk can ruin your life.


Example of Self-talking


Suppose you have a bad habit of consuming alcohol. Every time you are thinking of giving it up, the negative self-talk comes first.   Sometimes it is very much self-critical.

Self-criticism depletes our energy. We may say it is good to be self-critical. Many times we love our negative comfort zone. Comfort zone of sadness. To get out of the negative comfort zone we need to break our habit. But it is not easy. So we say it is my nature. Breaking comfort zone required effort. But we don’t want to take the effort and we become comfortable.


Difference between Habit and Nature


There is a very difference between habit and nature. Habits mean acquired, nature means what I am.

When we say it is my nature, it means we don’t want to change.  Because I lived in my comfort zone a very very long time.  To break free the comfort zone we need to give continuously positive information to our mind and continuously positive conversation with our self.


Impact of Positive Self-talk


Let think that one of our friends is in pain.

When someone who is close to us is in pain we generally do not indulge in negative conversation. We always try to give him positive energy. Because our aim is to take him out of pain. But, it may happen he is comfortable with his pain. He might have customed himself to the pain. Now all may try to take him out of pain but the positive result will only come when he talk positively with self.


Why I should talk to self when I am comfortable in my pain?


Sometimes I am not aware of my discomfort.

Suppose I am addicted to alcohol. After a few pegs, I do create disturbance for others. All are disturbed due to my such addiction but I may feel it is normal. When someone gives any advice related to the ill effect of alcohol I may obviously say that it is okay for me and I am healthy. But practically it is not. Although I may feel comfortable with my alcoholism.

Others may try to convince me to leave this habit and may start medication for me but until I am not believing that I may leave my this bad habit I will not be to get rid of it.

I need to talk myself that it is a bad habit and I can leave this my chronic habit and create some good habit.

The same way we can leave our anger when we do feel that I am peaceful being and I am at peace. When many times a day I will talk to myself that I am peaceful being, automatically I will be at peace.


Example of Positive Self Talk


Today I will make it.  I will be calm in every situation.  Every situation can be controlled by me. I believe I can do it. I have the power to do it.  God is with me. If God is with me why to bother who is against me.


Example of Negative Self Talk


Negative self-talk depletes energy. Examples:

I am a born loser. Whatever I decide I can not do it. I have bad luck always. Nothing good can happen to me.

How we talk to ourselves is very important.

Every day early in the morning take one positive thought and repeat it every day and believe it.


Self-Talk for a happy life


We are all made of body and soul. Body perished but the soul does not perish. We are all children of Supreme Soul or Param Atama. So after getting up early in the morning make first thought:-


“Thanks to the supreme soul.

I am ___________ (what do you want to become think that)

I am a peaceful soul.

Being God with me, I don’t want anything from anyone. I am a divine soul and able to give happiness to everyone.  Like Deities, I am a giver.

I am healthy and fit and am free from any distress.

My family is united.”


The everyday morning we need to say the above lines and to visualize. Because thought creates action.

We can not change the emotion, we can not change the action, we have to change the thought.

We have two options. Either changing someone’s habit or changing my thought. Waiting for someone to change his habit or action which makes us discomfort or gives bad emotions are too long and most of the times other people will not change. Hence the only option is to change our thought through self-talk.


Reference. BK Shivani


Categories: Self Talk

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